


Returning to New Life

by Kithri1997



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Also the non-con is because of villains not the team, Big Brother Thor (Marvel), Brotherly Bonding, But its not brought up much, Frigga (Marvel) Lives, Loki & Thor Friendship (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, POV Alternating, Protective Thor (Marvel), Rehabilitation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2020-04-23 02:01:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19141333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kithri1997/pseuds/Kithri1997
Summary: To say that he hadn't expected to be sequestered in the dungeons of Asgard would be yet another of his well-crafted lies, though Loki had to admit that he was a little annoyed by the prospect. Odin acted as if he'd never conquered any of the realms, never waged war, never done anything stupid such as what he'd done in New York.---------Follows the events of the Battle of New York and Loki's subsequent punishment.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fic, so I'm hoping this goes well! I want to thank Basil, my RP partner who plays a fantastic big brother Thor and helped inspire me to write this! I'd love comments, criticisms, anything you wanna say if you feel like dropping a comment! Thanks all, and I hope you enjoy!

To say that he hadn't expected to be sequestered in the dungeons of Asgard would be yet another of his well-crafted lies, though Loki had to admit that he was a little annoyed by the prospect. Odin acted as if he'd never conquered any of the realms, never waged war, never done anything stupid such as what he'd done in New York. Never mind that he had been under the control of another, more powerful mind, unable to fight back under the weight of the Mind Stone he'd been forced to carry with him. But that wasn't something Odin cared about, cared to even let him explain. No, Loki had made a fool of the Asgardian royalty. That was the only thing that mattered to the All-Father.

Boredom was quick to set in for the God of Mischief, especially as his illusions and simple tricks were too little to be noticed by the guards that patrolled the halls. Anything more had been left restricted by the magical barriers woven into the walls around him. The most he could do were simple tricks of the mind. Disguises for the world around him. Nothing that the battle-hardened warriors would truly be scared of.

So there he sat. For days. Then weeks. And then months. He wasn't allowed books, wasn't allowed anything more than what was already in his cell, furnished for royalty but left with little to do and no new supplies in sight, except the food he was brought to sustain him. His mind began betraying him as he grew more bored, the constant mental stimulation that he'd been used to gone from him now. Now he spent too long wondering just which visions he saw could be real, and which were falsehoods. He dismissed the ones where his brother came to visit easily. Those were never real, he was sure. Thor may be kind-hearted, but after the battle for New York, he doubted the man had any sympathies for him. Gone where the days when they had been close as blood brothers, the days that they would protect each other and guard against their father's punishments or disapproval. Such friendliness between them had decayed, much like his fading sanity.

Many of his days were spent attempting to preserve his magic, which had begun waning when his appetite had diminished and as he threw up illusions to keep himself looking as though this _torture_ had not affected him in the least. As far as he could tell, they were working, for during the times that the guards passed his cell, they never mentioned that he looked any different, or that the cell had been affected. Considering the state of disarray he'd left his things in his last fit of over emotional magic, and the state his body was deteriorating to would have alarmed most others.  
  
But, with his careful watch over his magic, he was sure he could keep it up no matter what trials may await him. The endless boredom, the beginnings of a psychosis setting in as his body and mind faded, he could handle it. He could keep it at bay. He had to.  
  
It was after one of his more troubling nightmares that his brother came to see him.  
  
The cell was in disarray, furniture strewn to the far corners, clothing stuck to his body in a cold sweat, his hair hung loose and matted in ways he hated but could hardly bother to care about. If his illusions had not been up to hide the disgrace of it, he was sure his brother might mock him for his fall from grace. Not a very Thor-like thing to do, but considering the way Loki had treated Thor in the past and minding the events of the Battle of New York, it didn't seem as though he could expect any more coddling. At least, not in his mind.  
  
"Hello, Brother."  
  
The words were said in such a neutral tone that for a moment, Loki had to wonder if this was the best his mind could produce. Thor had always been much more expressive with his emotions that this felt as though he was near emotionless. Maybe he was. Perhaps these visits had begun to bore him, and he was questioning his own decision to continue doing so. Not that Loki would blame him, it had been ages since he'd given more than cursory responses to things that Thor said. Even now he only responded with a tilt of his head, not seeing a need to waste the effort of speaking when he was near certain of how this conversation would play out.  
  
"I've brought you something."  
  
That... was not the usual routine. Loki perked up slightly, curious as to why Thor would break the rules of his imprisonment and bring him anything at all. Glancing up, he was surprised to see it was true, and that there was something blocky sitting in his brother's hands, wrapped in a cloth to hide its contents. Smart. The guards might think it a meal, something Thor would always bring when he came to visit, and wouldn't search him when they knew his routine so well.  
  
"A gift, brother? How thoughtful of you. I hadn't thought I was allowed any distractions from my... contemplations."  
  
Here, Thor seemed to wince. Feeling a bit guilty then, was he? For going behind Odin's back or for putting Loki in this position, he wasn't sure. But the flinch was telling, and he hid a soft smirk. Thor had always been an open book, and it was good to know that hadn't changed much in his months of imprisonment.  
  
Curiously, Loki stood, moving towards the glowing transparent walls of his cell for a better look at the gift bestowed to him. The way his brother had wrapped it had left it lumpy, but boxy, much the same way he wrapped the meals he brought, which was undoubtedly the point. However, it left him no clues as to what the damned thing could be, and his curiosity was growing on him. It did strike him that perhaps it could simply be another meal and that Thor might be toying with him, drawing this out. Doubtful. The god of Thunder was hardly ever so cruel.  
  
At Thor's gestures, a hole opened in the wall of his cell, though with the magic that bound it, only things that the man who'd opened the hole wished could pass through it. Knowing this, Loki waited patiently until the bound object was securely inside the cell, then took it carefully. It felt heavier than a meal, and much more solid. Giving him a curious glance, Loki carefully unwound the cloth, setting it to the side and openly staring at the leather-bound tome in his hands.

A book. Of all the things he could have brought, it was a heavy spellbook he had been meaning to read long ago, which had been sitting by his bed before he'd fallen from the rainbow bridge ages ago. His eyes stayed glued to the treasure in his hand as he stroked the cover reverently, and it wasn't until a stain appeared in the leather that he even realized his eyes were leaking slow tears.  
  
Thor could not have brought him a sweeter gift apart from his freedom from this thrice-accursed cell. A distraction from the endless waiting, a chance to learn, even if he couldn't use the magic that he was so desperately rationing. Food for his starving mind and a balm for the insanity that had begun to fester in the corners of his consciousness.

Forcing himself to gain control over his emotions, he looked up to Thor with as neutral a gaze as he could muster, and nodded his thanks. It would fit behind the illusion he'd left over himself, the still calm, still sane Loki who merely thought this punishment to be a boring waste of time. What everyone would expect of him. And showing people what they expected was the easiest kind of lying, really.  
  
"Thank you for the gift, brother. I am sure I will find time somewhere in my day to read it." A jest would seem appropriate, and he did hope it would keep up appearances well enough. Including the book in his spell so that it would disappear from the guard's view, he gave a mocking bow. "I would not take up any more of your precious time, and I've got many things to do."  
  
"Loki..."  
  
There was something in his voice that gave the trickster pause, and he looked up curiously. Was that sadness? Pity? He would not have it, and if the man before him thought to pity him for his jests, then he was wrong. Ice in his eyes, he turned.  
  
"I am sure you have things to do, as well, brother mine, and if you wish to keep Odin from discovering your deceit I would think you would wish to make this visit shorter than your usual rambling would allow." With that, he settled onto a chair in the corner of his cell and crossed his legs, one over the other, eyes fixed on Thor. His pose was regal as he waited for him to leave and allow him time to enjoy the freedom this gift would truly give him.  
  
The blonde seemed to hesitate for a moment, something in his gaze that Loki didn't quite understand before he nodded once and marched off with a determination that didn't fit the occasion. As the footsteps stopped their quiet echoing in the long corridors, Loki relaxed and leaned his head back for a moment, hands clutching the tome in his lap. This would be a much better night, and if he could pace himself, perhaps this book would last a few days, allow him time to enjoy its words and drink in the sanity it would bring.

 

  
  
  
  
\------------------------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

The book lasted him only a night.  
  
Underestimating just how good it would feel to read again, to do something other than pace, eat, sleep or stare. Reading had made time fly by in a way he hadn't felt since his time reading with his mother or practicing magic or learning to spar with his brother. He'd devoured the words, hungrily reading until the last word on the last page stared at him accusingly, reminding him that it was a bandage on a mortal wound. One book could only curb the hell so much, and it would take much more than this to manage the Hel that coursed in his mind. Setting the book aside for another moment when he needed to calm his mind, he leaned his head back and sighed.

Already, he was sure that this aide would only last a short time, before rereading the same words over and over again became a bore he couldn't face. Nor would he ask Thor for more of them, he wouldn't stoop to the point of asking for help when he had already lost so much of himself, of his normalcy. It was during these contemplations that he noticed Thor standing at the edge of the cell, eyeing him. Another boxy object was wrapped in his hands, as well as a wineskin. A rare treat, that.

"Two meals in one day, brother? Others might become more suspicious if you personally deliver so many of them."

"It is not a true meal, Loki. I have no plans on simply feeding you tonight. I'm taking you away from this place."

That exclamation was like a punch to his gut. How could Thor tempt him with such impossible scenarios, surely this must be another of his hallucinations? After the book, he would have thought they would be staved off for at least a short time. Unless he was more broken than he'd originally thought? In order to check, he used his usual tactic. Throw a cup at it.

An unamused and now confused Thor still stared at him as the cup bounced off his chest.

"Hm. Real then. Do you wish to tease me with thoughts of freedom? You need not encourage them, I entertain them on my own well enough."

"It is not a trick. Our father does not think clearly, and he surely should have realized that this is more than long enough of a punishment. You deserve at least a chance at redemption."

A change of heart? How could it be so? How could Thor suddenly decide he deserved a chance to make up for what he'd done when he'd been silent during his trial under Odin's law before? Slowly, he stood, his eyes narrowed as he made his way to the blonde, who looked quietly uncomfortable and continued to glance to the halls. Slowly, a grin took over his lips, and he nodded in respect.

"You actually snuck past the guards, then. You are more serious than I gave you credit for. If we are pressed for time, I shall not ask you what changed your mind. Yet. Be aware the questions will come later, and I expect a full understanding of this change of heart at a later time."

Thor nodded immediately, his eyes burning with determination as Loki spoke. "Of course. Now drink this. We need to get you out of here, and with the magic surrounding you and surrounding these cells, you must not be awake for what is about to occur." He held out the wineskin and tilted it towards the trickster.

At the sight, Loki paused. He was to be drugged? A large part of him, the part left wary from his time under Thanos, screamed at him not to trust this. Not to allow himself to be that vulnerable when he had no confirmation that this would not end up in more pain, more suffering. Another part, much smaller, from days past when he felt much more trusting of Thor and his family, told him to take it. To trust that this at least would be better than letting his mind and body rot in the dungeons of Asgard. They warred with each other as he gazed at his brother, searching for any hint of a lie, any hint that this would all come back to haunt him if he accepted the gods offer to help. He found not a trace.

With shaking hands, he took the skin, though he kept his eyes firmly on the other. "Be it known that I do this for the chance at freedom. Not because I trust you any farther than I can throw you." Registering the hurt that flashed through his brother's eyes, then the resignation, Loki tilted the opening to his mouth and swallowed three long drafts, tasting the concoction of wine and something sweeter that underlined it. With only a few more swallows, he drained the wineskin and set it back Thor's hands. The draft was either strong or his body was weaker than he'd realized, for he swayed near immediately, and would have fallen if not for the arms that caught him and held him up.

The last thing he saw was the concern in his brother's eyes, as darkness overtook his vision and his mind went blessedly quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My thoughts with this are that Loki is the god of mischief, but he's also a smart man who would not be able to fully cope with months of no stimulation. It would get to him differently than a punishment where he was hurt or humiliated, or all the other things Odin has done in the myths. Therefore, torture by isolation.
> 
> Also, I know that end is a bit short, but it will be explained more when Thor comes into play.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor's point of view, and a little insight about how he feels about all of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will admit freely that Thor is a harder character for me to write, and I had a little trouble with this chapter. But worry not, we're back to Loki next chapter, and the internal screaming of my frost giant child.
> 
> If it turns out this chapter isn't as well-liked, I may delete this and make it a Loki centric fic. Let me know what you think!

There was no bright light from the sky, no flash of thunder and lightning. 

One moment, the small parking lot was empty. 

The next, A god stood in its center, cradling a thin, pale, unconscious figure in his arms.

It had come as a surprise, the decision to free Loki from his confines, but Thor knew without a doubt that this had been the correct path. After what he had seen in the cell where Loki had been held, he could not, in good conscience, leave his brother there to slowly rot and wither away. And ever since Loki had been captured, he'd been quietly pondering his brother's actions in New York. They did not agree with the way the God of Mischief usually acted.

But the most pressing reason that he had changed his mind was his visit to Loki the morning prior when he’d been delivering his gift in the hopes of perhaps starting to mend their broken friendship. It was that short moment, the moment when his brother had been staring down at the book in apparent awe and confusion when everything in the cell he occupied… flickered.

It was like a different room entirely. Furniture in every corner, toppled and some even broken to splinter in apparent fits of rage-fueled magic. A dented dinner tray that had never been returned to the guards. Feathers piled in a corner from a pillow that must have been shredded. Granted, none of this was surprising. Considering Loki was never one to enjoy boredom, he had expected some of this, would have been surprised if he'd continued to visit and find a clean and pristine cell before had he not known of his brother's illusions. No, that was not what had made him decide to free his brother from this punishment.  
  
It had been the state of his being.  
  
Matted hair that had been once been better cared for than even their mother's. Gaunt features that suggested the meals he accepted were not consumed, or worse, that the guards might willfully be underfeeding the prince, and the way his clothes seemed to hang slightly, instead of the fitted outfits he knew Loki to prefer. But it was truly his eyes that had caught him so off guard. Not the way they'd sunken in, or the how they were rimmed with such dark circles that the whites stood out in sharp contrast. No... it was the haunted look of one who can feel the edges of their sanity beginning to waver, and fights desperately to hold to it. The look of someone who so cherishes a single book so much, knowing it can take the edge off... That had been the reason. That had been what had tipped him over the edge, made him plan their escape.  
  
And it was the reason he now stood in a strange parking lot, stranded on Midgard, with only a vague plan which hinged entirely on a teammates loyalty to their friendship.   
  
Considering the way Loki had last turned up on Midgard, it was a slim chance.   
  
Still, as Thor made his way towards Stark Tower walking carefully as he could so as not to disturb the smaller figure that lay peacefully in his arms, friends helped each other in times of need. This was a time of need. It couldn't be that bad, right?

 

 

 

 

\----------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

Nearly getting hit by a repulsor blast from Stark's watch gauntlet wasn't the worst thing that could have happened. He'd expected far worse, if he was being completely honest with himself.  
  
Of course, he understood why the Man of Iron was wary. The last time he'd been this close to Loki, the younger prince had thrown him out of a window, and then tried to destroy his city in the process of taking over their planet. Plus, he'd been controlling the mind of one of their teammates, so perhaps he was under the illusion that this was a similar situation and that Thor would need to be knocked out of his control.   
  
"Man of Iron, I can explain why I am here, though I would ask that you point your weapon down while I did so."  
  
For a moment, Tony did not move, and Thor could see the way his eyes flitted between his, and the unconscious form in his arms. Gears turned in the man's mind, and Thor waited, tense but patient, for him to respond.  
  
"Alright, Sparky. Go ahead and explain why the hell you brought back a madman who was hellbent on destroying my city and running my planet. I'd love to hear what on Asgard convinced you to do that." Slowly, with great reluctance, the Man of Iron lowered his hand, though Thor did not hear the telltale sign of the weapon powering down. Worrisome, but understandable.  
  
"You do not know my brother in the same way I do, Anthony Starkson. Loki is a troubled mind and is in many ways quite similar to you in his need for mental stimulation. This alone, of course, is not my reason for bringing him here. I would not be so foolish as to let my brother free of such a punishment if I simply thought him bored."  
  
It was in no way easy, he found, to admit to the other the injustice as he saw it. To explain it all, one had to understand his brother in the same way he did, and he was sure he could not describe such things without many many days, and Anthony would not allow that much time just to listen to stories of their childhood in order to explain one detail that  _might_ be able to convince him. So he decided to approach the matter keeping in mind the man's sense of justice.   
  
"Our father... When I brought Loki back to Asgard to face the consequences of his actions, Odin was quick to judge him. Too quick, in fact. In almost every case with some matter as large as this, there would have been a trial, a chance for Loki to have at least explained his own actions, or to tell us what his motives were. In this case, our father was swift to judge and only listened to my account of what I had witnessed. With that account, our father sentenced him to the dungeons under our palace, where he was allowed nothing but the clothes he wore, the meals he received, and the furnishings within the cell itself."

Thor went on to describe the state of the cell as he had found it when Loki's illusion flickered, both before the magic had ceased and after. In reference to Loki, he merely glanced pointedly down at his brother, then looked back to his teammate, a plea hiding in his eyes. "Loki was haunted, his sanity was fading in a way I have never seen before. Yet he did not protest his punishment. He only requested once, in the beginning, to be allowed to speak on what had happened. When he was denied... it was like he blocked us out. He spoke with me as if fulfilling my obligation as a brother. He did not act like himself. I am... worried, Anthony, that he may be hiding a different truth behind these illusions of his. He wanted me to think him fine, he did not want anyone to pity. It may have been pride. It may have been defiance against our father. But turning my brother into the monster Odin believes him to be is not the solution a good king would choose."  


When the genius stayed silent after his story, Thor cautiously added his own misgivings concerning his brother's actions in the battle for New York. How unlike his brother it had been, how... out of character the whole attack had felt. While the way he presented it made sense, and was very like his brother... Loki had never wanted to lead armies into destroying another nation or conquering another realm. For that matter, even conquering other race as he remembered Loki's attempts to stop him at first from attacking Jotenhiem.   
  
"I do not believe we have all the facts surrounding the reason he attempted to invade. And I would like a chance to find out, rather than leaving him to rot underneath our palace. You can see, even now, how just a few months has worn him to this."   
  
It took many a long minute before Tony finally powered down the repulsor, his eyes on the gaunt figure in Thor's arms. It was obvious by now he would do something, though he was unsure how far he would go to help them.   
  
"Alright. You've convinced me to try. I swear, you have the absolute worst 'please help me and my supposedly evil brother' face I've ever seen. You two can stay here. But," here he pointed a sharp finger at them both, "there will be rules. You two stay on the same floor, you can have separate rooms, but you're in charge of him. He makes any moves to do something evil or tries to hurt someone, he's out. And if I find out he's been mind-magicking us this whole time, I will shoot him. And then throw him out the window."  
  
Surprisingly, still better than he'd originally expected.   
  
Quick to bow his head and offer as many thank you's as he could, along with promises to be sure he followed every one of Stark's rules, he allowed the man to lead them to the elevator, up dozens of floors, until they stopped on a floor that Tony had apparently set up for him ages ago when he'd offered to allow each of the Avenger's their own floor in his tower. Gratefully, Thor continued thanking the man until the doors to the elevator separated them once more, leaving him alone with a sleeping magician in his arms.  
  
It took him a few tries to find the first bedroom, but on the third door he opened he was met with plush carpet, a large bed, and an attached bathroom, which he was sure that Loki would appreciate when he woke. Finally resting his arms, he settled his brother into the bed, removing his shoes before pulling the blankets up to his shoulders. For a moment, all he could do was look down at his brother and the peaceful expression he bore as he slept obliviously on. Hoping that this had been the right decision, he slipped quietly out of the room, making his way to his own bed.   
  
Sleep would evade him completely as evening slowly faded into dawn, and the stars gave way to the suns oppressive light.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I skipped the breakout scene.  
> No, I do not regret it.  
> Please don't hate me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki wakes up tired, confused, and unsure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the delay, with me being on vacation last week, and taxpayers getting more and more aggressive at my job, my writer's block hit me full force. I only just finished this chapter, but I hope you like it!

Quiet.

Blissful, peaceful quiet surrounded him, his thoughts syrupy and languid as he pressed his body into the warmth and comfort of the darkness around him. It felt so calm, peaceful in a way that he hadn’t felt since before the fall, before Thanos, before everything had gone to Hel and back. The blackness was a blanket that wrapped around him and kept him safe from the real world, his cell, the constant buzzing of his mind…

So why did it feel like this was different than his usual attempts at sleep, other than the unusual restfulness?  
  
The memories hit Loki like a train, snapping his eyes open as he shot upright in bed, the conversation with Thor, the drugged wine, all of it. His meager magical stores primed in case he needed a quick retreat, who knew if Thor had followed through with his promise. The room he lay in was unfamiliar territory, all soft edges, fluffy pillows, plush carpet. The colors muted, but varied enough that he wasn’t reminded of the stark white walls of his cell. The bed, as he’d already observed, comfortable and large, with enough blankets he could easily cocoon himself into them and be hidden from the world. Yet that wasn’t the oddest thing he found about his current quarters.  
  
No, the oddest thing would be the God of Thunder sprawled out on the floor in his own pile of blankets and pillows.  
  
It made sense. If Thor had released him, he could never afford to do so without keeping a close eye on him. Why else would he subject himself to a hard floor when Loki was sure the man would have a room of his own, with his own bed. The real question was: Why was Thor in here? Did he plan to guard Loki like this? Did he think that this was freedom if he was still guarded by Thor instead of left in a cell?  
  
Before he had time to truly ponder the parameters of his newfound existence, Thor began to stir, and the God of Mischief froze, body primed for an attack if he needed, or a chance to flee. All his reactions seemed to be flight or fight at the moment, more instinct than true strategy. Something he regarded as a sign to how much his mental facilities had atrophied as he watched the other slowly work his way into a more alert state, though still slightly bleary-eyed and… not quite all there yet. Still, his smile was unusually bright as he finally seemed to notice Loki awake in the bed.  
  
“Good morning Brother. I am pleased to see you have rested, and seem under no ill effects from the sedative.”  
  
The smile, cheerful though it was, couldn’t quite hide the concern that seemed to lurk behind his eyes. Pity. Loki didn’t need pity, and certainly not from the man who’d been so distant throughout his imprisonment beneath Asgard’s palace. Huffing quietly, he let his gaze wander around the room of muted colors and soft things.  
  
“You needn’t have worried. I’m more than capable of handling being drugged. You mustn’t think you’ll need to coddle me.” It wouldn’t do for Thor to think that just because he’d been rescued from prison he needed extra care. No one needed to know about how his mind had been slipping except for himself. He was sure, with his time now spent outside of the dungeons, he’d be able to regain his full sanity on his own.  
  
Thor’s expression didn’t seem to change as he stood and stretched. “I know I don’t, but can I not be glad that the concoction that got you out of prison while rendering you completely unconscious has also done you no harm? Humor me, brother, in that at least.”  
  
Staring for a moment, Loki slowly nodded, then stood, stretching himself as well before he sniffed and backpedalled slightly. He’d forgotten how long it had been since the guards had allowed him to get clean, and it was starting to become noticeable, even to him. A quick illusion usually fixed it, but if Thor was going to continue to insist that this wasn’t like his time in prison…  
  
“I don’t suppose the Man of Iron would be willing to let me use his cleansing room? I am in dire need of a bath, if you haven’t already noticed.”  
  
Thor seemed to relax somewhat, which only served to confuse Loki more. Why on Asgard would he be relaxed because he asked for a bath? Did he smell worse than he’d realized? “Of course you can use his washroom, I am sure there are many things with you will find to your liking,” Thor’s voice cut through his confusion as the blonde moved to a door on the other side of the wall, opening it to reveal Midgaurdian clothing. “Unfortunately, brother, I only have clothing of my own size, and though I know you can conjure visions of whatever you like, you might be wishing not to have to use magic all the time. In this case, you can borrow my things until you find more.” With a grin, the blonde handed over a pair of sweat pants and a large sweatshirt. “These have draw strings, so you should be able to fit with ease.”  
  
Dull looking. Grey. But somehow, the gesture was kind enough that he didn’t immediately scoff at it, and when he finally did, it didn’t hold the usual heat. Better than wearing his current garments. “You expect Stark to buy me clothing then? I do not know how else I would get them.” It would very likely be frowned upon on this world to take the clothes he needed, and he preferred if he didn’t have to go out anyway. Too much history on Earth, and he doubted this puny world had quite forgiven him yet.  
  
Thor’s grin seemed to fade for just a moment as he thought, but it came back full force. “Stark trusts me. And since I have brought you here under my protection, he will provide you with the same comforts he provides me. Provides any of his guests. You will get clothing, and food, whatever is necessary.”   
  
While this all seemed quite forgiving of Thor, who, while he knew the man was gullible and easy to manipulate, seemed… too quick to trust him after so much time of being left to rot. It felt wrong somehow, perhaps fake. But he had nothing else right now unless he wanted to be on the streets with low magic and very little real nutrition. Better than trying to fend for himself in a world he only remembered in fragments.  
  
Taking the garments, Loki glanced between the washroom and his brother, making sure he was truly allowed to go in. With another wide grin (Which was going to get annoying incredibly quickly at this rate) Thor nodded and headed for the door. “I will go get something for us to eat while you bathe. If you need anything, ask Jarvis, the man in the ceiling. And I will have him inform you when food has arrived. Until then, take your time, I’m sure you weren’t able to enjoy your bathes before.” With that, he left the room, the latch clicking shut behind him as the room was filled with silence on more.  
  
Alone again. How odd that it didn’t feel as oppressive as it has before.  
  
Glancing once at the door, then once to the ceiling in slight confusion, Loki cleared his throat a bit. There was a person in the ceiling? Was he watching every move? Is this why Thor felt comfortable leaving him alone at all? “Ah… Jarvis, yes?”  
  
“At your service, Loki Odinson. How may I help you?”  
  
The voice came from everywhere, but was not so loud as to be too much noise. Still, it startled him, as he had never heard it before. Managing to recover, he shook himself, and looked back up to the ceiling.   
  
“You are able to control this building yes?”  
  
“One of my functions is being able to assist with Sir’s Tower, though I have many more which may be of use to you.”  
  
“I see. At the moment, I only wish to have the door locked to all but my brother. Is that an acceptable request?”  
  
“Sir has not given many parameters to what you are not allowed to do. You are perfectly capable of locking the door to your room, as long as it would not endanger yourself or others in the tower. In which case, I would unlock it.” An audible click sounded from the door, and Loki’s tension eased somewhat. “The door is locked. Anything else I may assist you with?”  
  
“Actually…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

\-------------------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It took him some work, and a lot of help from the sky-voice-Jarvis to get the functions of the tub working. But eventually, Loki was able to bath in hot water for the first time in ages. Languishing in it, enjoying the heat of the water and the feeling of clean skin and washed hair, Loki already felt like a new man. Perhaps letting Thor rescue him had been a good idea after all. Within a few moments of getting himself dried off, he was changed into the large, yet surprisingly warm and comforting, sweat clothes his brother had lent him. With a few deft twists, his hair was in a braid, to allow itself time to dry, something his mother had always encouraged when he could not dry it immediately. And since he did not wish to learn the loud thing that could do it here, braid it was.   
  
It was only once he’d settled back into the bed, contemplating if another short rest would be too awful, when Thor came back into the room laden with small white containers with red lettering on them. Eyes just as bright as they had been when he’d left the room before, he settled the boxes on the small table at the end of the bed, opening each to allow the steam to escape.   
  
“I was not sure which you might like, so I got the most popular ones, and my personal favorite. I hope we can find something you will enjoy.”  
  
The taste wasn’t particularly important to Loki, considering how hungry he was. It was very likely at this point that he could stuff himself silly, as Thor tended to do at one of the feasts Odin would through. Though he would still have to be careful with overstretching his stomach at this point. “Food is food. Do you think I will deny it when I am currently hungry? I am a guest in this tower, and I would not wish to offend.” Or get kicked out for seeming ungrateful for the care given to him. The alternatives were too hazardous at the moment.  
  
They ate in relative quiet for a time, Loki trying not to make noises of delight or happiness at just how _good_ the food tasted after so long on bland prison rations. Even then, he paced himself, tried to make sure he was not overdoing it, and stopped before the full feeling in his stomach grew into something painful and unforgiving.   
  
Of course, it was then that Thor spoke. “There is… no rush for you, brother. I will not make you do anything you are not ready for. But at a time, Stark would like to hear what has happened. Would prefer to understand why keeping you safe is imperative. I believe in you, but he does wish to know your side of the story. ” He paused for a moment, as if trying to find the right words. A skill set they had never shared, Thor might be able to rouse an army to roars of battle cries, but Loki had always been better at more intimate settings. “You must understand-“  
  
“I understand perfectly well, Thor. The last time I was on this realm, I attempted to enslave it. In his eyes, I was the villain. In many eyes, I was. I will need to explain to him, to you all, why I did what I did. And… what pushed me to it.” This was the part he had dreaded, the part he did not wish to do again. If Odin had not believed him, why should Thor or any of his brothers men-in-arms?   
  
“But not today. Today, I wish to rest for a bit longer, enjoy this food, and sleep as long as I can. I find that this sleep is much more restful than any I had in my cell, and my body is craving it.” He could deal with the rest in the morning. Perhaps with a bit more strength, he could be surer his illusions would hold. It was doubtful they had done so after he had been drugged, and while Stark and his brother might have seen the real thing beneath the cloak of disguise, no one else in the tower had to. Weakness was something he couldn’t afford right now.  
  
Letting his brother clear out the boxes and leave with a promise not to wake him until their next meal, Loki settled under the cushions and the pillows and blankets, feeling all to open in the room he could exit so easily, too vulnerable. Too easy to attack. He glanced at the ceiling a moment, a thoughtful expression on his face.   
  
“Jarvis?”  
  
“Yes, Loki Odins-“  
  
“Loki is fine.”  
  
“Yes, Loki?”  
  
“Can you lock the door to everyone? You may tell my brother to have you wake me. I am not sure how I will sleep without it.”  
  
“Of course, Sir Loki.”  
  
Another audible click from the door, and Loki’s tension eased once more. Somehow, knowing he could control who came in or out in all but the most extreme circumstances made him feel much better, much safer, than he had before.   
  
Turning over on his side, Loki’s eyes fell shut as the room darkened accordingly, allowing sleep to wash over him yet again, a soothing blanket over his tired, aching mind.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drugs can make a man real sleepy, and Loki's body has to recover a lot of magic and nourishment. I've got a few planned things coming up, so here's hoping the writer's block doesn't hit so hard this week!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's been avoiding the rest of the inhabitants of Avenger's Tower, but Tony needs answers if he's going to keep housing the one who caused the Battle of New York. Time for Loki to open up.
> 
> Trigger warning for extreme violence, abuse, and mentions of sexual abuse as well. I'll put a summary with none of that in the end notes, so if you need to skip the chapter you won't miss anything!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! So. I suck. But! I'm back, with another chapter, and no longer have to deal with moving or getting settled. Hopefully this chapter will be worth the wait? We get some interaction with someone that's not Thor!

A few days passed in much the same manner for Loki. Waking up later and later in the morning a his body adjusted to a normal sleep pattern. Thor bring gifts of food and making sure he wasn't simply sitting alone in his room at all hours, speaking with Jarvis, the sky-voice. It was almost calming in a way. Yet, in another, it was too much like his time in the cells to feel fully comfortable. At times he wondered why he hadn't left his room, why he hadn't risked a journey with his newfound freedom. But the idea of so much space after such a long confinement somehow frightened him more than the cells had.  
  
Not that Thor had given up on trying to get him out. Invites to spend time in the garden Stark had built on the roof, or to stroll through the tower. He'd even tried to bring him to a library, which had almost been enough to move the trickster from his rooms.   
  
But it was the thought of seeing the other inhabitants of the tower that kept him firmly where he stayed.   
  
Sure, Thor might have taken him from the cells, might think him innocent in all that he implied. Perhaps even the Man of Iron felt the same way, else why would he allow him to stay in the tower they all called home? But the others? Doubt curled through his thoughts at the idea that they might forgive his escape so easily. The Archer was his main concern, considering he, of all people, knew how one might react to being controlled. It would surprise him greatly not to be shot on sight when the Archer found out he was here. Which he had to assume was still under wraps, as there had been no attempts in either contact or assassination as of yet.   
  
So in his rooms he stayed, reading the books Thor brought him and ignoring the rest of the world for as long as he could.   
  
Of course, that was ruined when the Man of Iron came to his door, surprisingly not in his armor, unsurprisingly with a mask of stone on his face. Considering that Loki was well versed in masks himself, he completely understood why. When confronting an enemy, you could not afford to show any weakness, and with Loki already showing so many, there was no reason to lose your advantage in this kind of situation.  
  
"I must admit, I'm surprised you allowed me to reside in your tower so long without coming to interrogate me. May I assume my brother had something to do with it?"  
  
Stark's mouth twitched in a barely noticeable smirk, and he nodded to himself before stepping aside. "Come in then. I'm sure you have your questions." Turning on his heel, he made his way to a set of chairs beside a small table that made up his usual reading spot, settling in them with as relaxed an air as he could, though his back stayed straight and ready to flee if he found he would need to. Stark settled into the other, sprawled easily as if he had been the one living in the room and not Loki.  
  
"Alright then, Reindeer games. You're under no illusion that I'm pleased you're here. Granted, I'm doing Thunder Thighs a favor, but it would help my case immensely if I knew why the hell I shouldn't be sending you back to your dad's space prison and trying to get Hulk to smack your brother into sense like the Spider did for Hawk. Care to venture an explanation?"   
  
Smirking a bit at the odd way the hero showed his protectiveness over his team, Loki settled just barely, leaning further back into the seat and settling steepled fingers under his chin. Regarding the other, he nodded a bit. "I suppose I must, though you may be able to answer your own questions with only a mite of help from me. Considering the tales told of your mental prowess, I doubt it will be difficult for you should I give you the right clues. You already have quite a few at your disposal." It felt odd, sharing this with someone other than his brother, though somehow right that it would be someone with an admirably more... exemplary mind. Telling Stark would make explaining things to the others either since he could count on the other to explain things even if Loki was not there.   
  
"Tell me. When the Bowman was so quick to change his tune after his unfortunate head injury, why was it that so few judged him or worried over his ability to think clearly after? The simple answer is: no one blames those out of control of their own minds, their bodies." Here he made a bit of a hum of resentment. "Notice, his demeanor hardly changed, but those who knew him closely knew he had fought off the mental control. Now, what if he had been surrounded by strangers, or people who only knew him as acquaintances, in passing? They would have been more wary, unable to realize he'd broken free as they would not see the subtle changes in actions.  
  
And if he was unable to speak up, to show those who knew him that he had been freed? Or so battle worn and mentally exhausted that he could not form the words or thoughts necessary to defend himself until it was already assumed he was still one of the enemy? It would have been a much different scenario than the one you found yourselves in. Don't you agree?" Tilting his head in a moment to see what the man would do with the information, he found himself reliving the moments after the hulk threw him into the ground, as the mental control had cleared.  
  
The moments in which he'd lain there, body aching, mind clearing, and realized just what he'd done. What he'd almost done to the world his brother loved. What he'd been through before he'd finally lost control of his mind had been great, but he'd also caused more destruction and havoc than he could ever wish for, even with the best of his pranks. All he'd been able to do at the time was realize the horror of it, before he'd been captured, bound and gagged, and returned to Asgard... sentenced to the hell that had been his isolation in the dungeons of Asgard.

If the look on the genius' face was anything to go by, he was beginning to come to the right conclusions. Though he knew it would take more than just the admittance of being under someone else's control. He could not simply claim such without further interrogation. The other would not want to do this without true details. More than Loki wished to share, but nothing he would be able to keep back. Not if he wanted to prove his innocence.

Finally, Stark seemed to finish with his thoughts, and gave him a searching look. "So. You're saying you were also brainwashed by the scepter. Harder to believe, considering that you guys are supposed to be more resistant to magician just kinda all around better than us. So what, someone just touched you with it and you were immediately ready to serve? No way that happened, taking into account that you were in bad shape when you first arrived on our realm." Here he paused, eyed Loki with something of... sympathy? In his demeanor, and added "I don't need complete details. Just... confirmation. It wasn't only the scepter, was it." 

 

 

**_ ** Trigger Warning for depictions of what happened to Loki before Avengers. I'll mark when it's over, so if you need to skip, here is where to do so! ** _ **

  
Closing his eyes, Loki let himself take a moment, to breath and to remind himself that everything that had happened before the stone took his mind was in the past. The endless days of pain, the times left under intense heat while his skin had been cut, peeled, torn... True, his magic had done it's best, but there was only so much pain that he could handle before he'd begun to crumble. And when  _He_ had decided to try a new tactic, Loki's skin already broken, bruised, and bleeding, he'd not been able to even gather the effort to fight.   
  
There had been so many in  _his_ army, so many that wished for their turn with their prisoner, wished to add their own mix of shaming and fun. With little he could do to stop it, the God of Mischief, broken Silver-tongue, had finally cried, finally screamed for it to be over, for them to end him, for them to do anything to make it stop.   
  
It hadn't. Of course it hadn't.  
  
Time was different, in the realm he'd fallen into. In the end, he endured a two years of this, of constant breaking of bones, bruises that healed slower with each pass.. Of wounds to his mind, mental and magical attacks that left him aching in a completely different way. Blood, sweat, the seed of those who used him, they were his constant companions and he could hardly remember a time before them.   
  
Somehow, it would be better when  _He_ came. When it was his turn to use and break him. Somehow, he was always gentler than the rest of his army. Was always more... kind. and of course, Loki had known what he was doing, how he was linking his presence to relief. But that didn't change that he almost began to crave the days that he would come. The armies would leave him alone. He still hurt, but less. Those few and far between moments where the pain wasn't so great, where it was almost gentleness even as he was pressed into and taken and claimed in a way he could never erase, always made the following days worse. The return to what felt like endless suffering after a day of relief where what truly broke him.  
  
It was almost a relief when the Titan had taken his mind, and he could retreat into the recesses, the dark corner where his free will and thought had been tucked away. To lick at wounds he was sure would never heal, to systematically strip his emotions down and force himself not to think on them, and to block out that part of his memory while on the outside he carried out the bidding of the one who'd invaded him, mind and body. Against everything he wished, but could not fight.  
  
 ** _**_**   _ **End Trigger Warning ****_

 

 

Slowly, he nodded. "There is only... so much one being can withstand before they start to lose the will to keep themselves strong. I reached that limit, and was pushed beyond it. Which is how I lost my mind to those who would control it. I ask that we not delve into the details. Not for a long time, if ever. I'm not sure even my brother understands the depths of what happened to me, and for now, I think I will be keeping it that way."   
  
It seemed that Stark could accept that answer, which was a good thing as that was all Loki was willing to share on the subject. When it had already felt as though he'd bared a part of his soul that he'd wished to leave in the dark, he felt no reason to tear open more of his wounds for the world to see. They weren't ready for what would seep from them, and he wasn't ready to deal with it himself.  
  
Anthony leaned forward, peering at Loki with a calculating eye. The silence stretched on for a long moment, and while the God was used to silences, this felt somehow.... more important. He straightened a bit, his eyes locking with the others and not turning away. There was nothing for him to hide, not when he'd bared the truth, and he would not back away from the other in some sign of deceit.   
  
"Well. I have no reason that I can disbelieve you. From what Thor says, you weren't acting like yourself, New York wasn't exactly something you would have done. And I've got firsthand witnesses who saw what bad shape you were in when you came out of the portal. For now, your story checks out." Here he seemed to pause, and Loki waited for the catch that always came with these kinds of things. Only to be surprised by "I would say you might want to talk to a therapist. I had to. After what happened before I became Iron man. And I'm not saying you have to. Only that maybe it would help." At the absolutely dumbstruck look on the God's face, he smiled, though it never reached his eyes. "I recognized the face you made when you were off in your own head. That's just... a face I recognize. From when I was in the same place."   
  
Standing a bit reluctantly and straightening his jacket, Anthony eyed the still stunned Loki. "If you feel like leaving your room at any point, feel free. The tower isn't off limits. You're welcome to go anywhere anyone else would. Though until we can find a way to spin a good face for the press, I wouldn't go out a wandering among the public, alright?" With that and a winning, news worthy smile, he swept out of the room, door closing with a soft click and leaving an absolutely baffled and somewhat awed man behind.  
  
Thor would find Loki there later, staring out the window, contemplating just who the owner of this Tower was and just what he must have been through to understand a man such as himself.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick summary: Tony finally confronts Loki about what happened before the events of Avengers. Loki basically explains he was also under the scepters control, and that he was tortured before he showed up, which is why he looked so bad when he first showed up on Midgard. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, and I've already got a rough idea for the next one, so no writers block this time around! See y'all soon!

**Author's Note:**

> My thoughts with this are that Loki is the god of mischief, but he's also a smart man who would not be able to fully cope with months of no stimulation. It would get to him differently than a punishment where he was hurt or humiliated, or all the other things Odin has done in the myths. Therefore, torture by isolation. 
> 
> Also, I know that end is a bit short, but it will be explained more when Thor comes into play.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


End file.
